Lemongrab – A Study in Morality

Filed under Uncategorized

A constructed being who finds at his core a natural morality at odds with society.

You are a ‘bad’ person. You are told by all around you that you are a jerk. Corrupted. Twisted. In need of help. You retreat into solitude, and build yourself a kingdom of solitude, a place where you can’t hurt anyone. This is what is right. [A Buddha, driven into the wilderness not by the corruption without but within.]

Meditation. How much time passes, sitting under the lemon tree? How many years seeking the inner self, searching for the sugar sweet candy core within you, for your divine light? And yet you find only sour lemony darkness. Not only this, but there is no one else in the darkness with you. WHY are you like this?

A messenger comes, trouble in your homeland. Accept your duty he says. Where is Krishna to guide me? You accept your duty, it is what is right?

A return to your motherland. So much has changed, but not the people. Ancient duties bring you here, you must fulfill them. Why do they hate you for that? Or is it your sour core?

Your creator screams out to you ‘You’re a jerk!’. Why did she make you thus? Why create the rules for you to follow, only to then admonish you? What darkness lives in your creator?


Filed under rap parodies

I be, working at kikis, making tzaziki
Talking bout hip hop and the finest sticky icky
Marijuana conversations and endless food preparation
Once were done with these cucumbers have a little celebration
Got tomatoes by the cases, choppin onions by the sack
Working crazy Fucking hours just to watch that money stack
Bring it back, for the token black, cookin like it’s crack
Sippin yak, while I kill the track, bomb it like Iraq
Whippin sauce, like my nigga ross, should call me the bawse
Chillin cause, all I do is win, never took a loss
Strain that juice, up in syracuse, out here getting loose
Mr t, bring back the mohawk, then I pity foos
Here I go, on my henny flow, got that henny though
Gettin low, with my morning bros, making all that dough
Going strong, every line I spit, every song a hit
When I’m done, pullin off these gloves, cause they never fit
I ain’t  done, got my second shift, selling hats and shirts
I can’t stop, not a little bit, that cash I gotta git
At sundown, pour another round, step up to the mound
Midnight comes and I’m still around, my second wind I found
Not OG, that would be bobby, but I take it further
More OJ, every track I’m on, get away with murder


Filed under rap parodies

Yo, I go by the name
(I’m yo Luckso) Of grout the bard
And I just wanna let y’all know (I’m yo Luckso)
The world is about to feel
Something (I’m yo Luckso)
That they’ve never felt before, C’mon
From dungeon to dungeon, slaying dragons and flagons
I boot em and loot em, toss the swag on the back of my wagon
I’m the neighborhood Luckso. Call me spelunker,
Cause I’m a sneak into your bunker, then in town getting drunker.
Im heavy cause, got the loot from the bawse
gonna take it all back and invest it in the house.
Never took a loss, But there’s still that wizard Kent
On his quest for the staff He’s becoming quite hellbent
Tried to hire us to find it, but we were there to spy
Found the evidence we needed and we left, said no goodbye
Went to the mayor to snitch, hopefully Kent is no Lich
If we take over his keep the we gonna be rich
But we gotta wait, no word yet from the human council
That’s another month still then we go in for the kill
So we head south to the mountains, gonna kill us some more orcs
If we cant get rid of Kent yet then we gotta put in work

Grindin’! (Ah)
Grindin’! (Ah)
Grindin’! (Ah)
Grindin’! (Ah)
Grindin’! (Ah)


All day

Filed under Alternate Song Meanings

All Day, nigga

How long ya niggas smash? All Day, nigga

Chillin at the compound? All Day, nigga

How many players you got on call? All Eight, nigga

Smash, smash, How long your winning streak go? All Day, nigga

All my enemies gone die? All day, nigga

Go out back and get high? All Day, nigga

You already know I’m straight 305, All day nigga

So So So Fly! All Day, nigga


This Jorge, nigga

Preparing for 420 in December, nigga

Smoked so many blunts I can’t remember, nigga

Rolling up another one as I’m listening to Jigga

Pick up a controller and we gonna smash my nigga

Hit Mario so hard he lost his mustache, nigga

Step up the competition cause you all trash, nigga

Dodge all your attacks with my dash, nigga

I won’t let ya play with me

I won’t give ya another rematch no way

Better luck next time you step to me

Or you can just call me king like DEDEDE

I just wont another round my nigga

Little Mac, I’m the best pound for pound, nigga

You lookin like a fake Ness like that Lucas, nigga

Smash you down to the ground now you earthbound, nigga

You camping sniper, nigga

Sitting on the edge spamming projectiles, nigga

If you’re not gonna fight then you should go home, nigga

Or I’ll have to put this chrome on your dome lil nigga

Leave you laying on the grass like a lawn gnome, nigga

My reign I maintain longer than Rome, nigga

Keeping it three hundred like a Roman, nigga

Looking for a challenge but there’s no man bigga

No man…


I just bought an amiibo, Hes my only amigo

Imma train him like my bro

Hes me only challenge though

Hes my only challenge though


All Day, nigga

How long ya niggas smash? All Day, nigga

Chillin at the compound? All Day, nigga

How many players you got on call? All Eight, nigga

How long your winning streak go? All Day, nigga

All my enemies gone die? All day, nigga

Go out back and get high? All Day, nigga

You already know I’m straight 305, All day, nigga

So So So Fly! All Day, nigga


That’s the wrong game y’all playin’, It should be on the 64

4 of the homies aint stayin, yall gotta wait a lil more

So now you better start praying, Don’t know just what I got in store

All of your characters I’m slaying, Leave you all laying on the floor

Right now, I’m looking real smug right now

I’ve been beating everybody like a thug right now

Throw you out just like a barrel, Donkey Kong Right now

Know me only by just one name, Real Fong right now

While I’m looking like a killa, you’ll be looking at my kills

Like huh, that’s us right now

24/7, 365 days everybody getting slayed

The greatest to ever play it you should call me MJ

People sayin’ “Yo, Yo, take it easy”

Left em looking like Rihana after righting breezy

Before you come for a rematch get some practice bitch

Im the OG boss, looking Bowser Rich


Something About Something About Friends

Filed under Uncategorized

From time to time we are faced with why

it’s our closest friends who always make us sigh


Passerby, classmate, coworker, new friend,

try and do, show up on time; setting a new trend


The reason is plain but not easy to see

It’s a problem with them but also with me


While new friends may show up and share a good song

Best friends are those to whom you can never say ‘so long’


New friends are gone if they don’t try

But best friends are forgiven without batting an eye.


You don’t want them to just be there in the end,

instead to be *with you* and take the hand you lend.


You want them to grow, to live, and be free

And when they do, it fills you with glee.


So don’t you forget, we all do some wrong

but best friends are there to make you feel like you belong.


Tell a friend you love them. It can’t hurt!

10 Roadtripping Tips

Filed under Uncategorized

Around every 2-3 years I make sure to take a road trip of at least 4000 miles. In the past I’ve done Miami-Charlottesville (MagFest 4), Miami-Pittsburgh (School – CMU), Miami-Chicago, and most recently Miami-DC-Chicago-Homestead, MT-Denver-Grand Canyon-OKC-Miami. Through these trips, and with advice from my father (a veteran road tripper) I’ve built up some good tips and tricks for (solo) roadtripping on a budget. So when our very own BoxyBrown told me he was looking for tips for his 2 month tumble around the states, I decided to gather up some of my best.


1) Windshield Wiper Fluid

A mostly forgotten car fluid, having this in good supply is essential on road trips. When driving familiar streets, as one does day-to-day, low visibility can be an annoyance but usually not dangerous. However, when going 80 in the dark down a highway looking for signs, those smudges on the windshield become a lot more than eyesores.

Spritzing wiper fluid when you first turn on the wipers for rain can also aid in the water sliding off the windshield and beading better. Of course also ensure your wipers are generally in good working order, they’re not too costly but make a lot of difference when you have a lot of road ahead of you and the rain is coming down.

2) Frozen Water Bottles

When keeping a cooler in your car for snacks, meals, and/or medical supplies frozen water bottles are the best way to maintain cold (significantly better than reusable chemical ice packs). 1-3 liter bottles are the best, but will take a day or so to completely freeze. Once frozen, they can last a week in a cooler (especially if you surround your cooler with insulating things like blankets, pillows, towels, or suitcases), and when in need will provide cold water. In any overnight stop you make where a freezer is handy, then can be refrozen and topped off.

3) Snacking

Not only a good way to cut down on stops for meals, having something that you might be reaching for and chewing helps stave off monotony on large stretches of road. Trail mix, or jerkies tend to be good not only because of the chewyness, but for being very concentrated nutrition sources. When on the road, I tend to only eat two light meals a day, then nibble on snacks the rest. Can’t afford to get the itis!

4) Voice Recorder

Being in the isolation of a car for long periods tends to cause the brain to try to stretch itself out, some people call it thinking (whatever). Instead of letting errant thoughts flit away like the milemarkers you pass, record them. This can be like an audio diary, or just notes for yourself. When you have downtime, go back to the recordings, and you can elaborate or take action on them. Regardless of how you do it, it’s much more pleasing (and productive) than talking to yourself, and much less dangerous than actually having a phone conversation.

5) Interstate Rest Stops

I’ve never paid for a hotel on a road trip. In almost all states, the interstate road stops allow for at the very least 16 hour parking, and in many have some sort of security. They tend to be away from town centers with the interstate being the only way to reach them, which makes them relatively crime free. Throw a mat or blankets in the back seat and you’re good for the night. During the day, many are also manned with someone who can provide information on the locale and any sights to see. At any time there are usually also maps, which may seem irrelevant in the era of GPS but are great for wandering, finding scenic routes, and as souvenirs. Last, but certainly not least, the restrooms tend to be much MUCH nicer than your run-of-the-mill gas station.

6) Pawn/Thrift shops

Other than being a good way to interact with local color, second-hand shops tend to be full of souvenir goods that have lost their appeal. Additionally, any item that you get now automatically has a much more exciting back story, e.g.: In a large indoor flea market in Cheyenne, WY I found an AD&D Player’s Handbook. Inside was a story of the former owner’s last play session with a good friend who had to move away.

7) Sammiches

Ingredients tend to keep without spoiling in a cooler, and with a relatively small set of condiments you can get a good rotation of flavours to not grow tired of the food. Saves vs fast food financially, health-wise, and time-wise.

8) Reenter highway on the next exit

Oftentimes when stopping for gas, instead of going right back onto the highway, I’ll make my way through the city and reenter one or two exits down. This is a very time-economical way to get a little bit of sightseeing in. Main streets are particularly fun, or you might ask a clerk at the gas station about anything worth seeing nearby.

9) Cruise Control

This is a real take-it-or-leave-it thing. I’ve had people tell me that focusing on keeping a constant speed allows them to focus more on driving and alerts to when they’re too tired. To me, it just creates a distraction. Keeping cruise control can ensure that you are at peak gas efficiency, not accidentally speeding, and more precisely aware of how long it will take to get to your next destination. It can also just give you one less thing to have to worry about and free your mind up for taking in the view or talking to yourself.

10) Respect Your Limits

Simple right? It’s harder than you’d think sometimes. Try your best to plan a trip flexibly, making room for going slower than you know you will or driving fewer hours than you know you’ll be able to. It becomes very easy to lose a lot of time, and you don’t want to be thinking about driving another 100 miles at 2am. Relax and remember this is supposed to be fun, and you can always set your alarm earlier in the morning. If you find yourself having to guzzle the caffeine, or are constantly wanting to stop to just stretch and wake up, you should probably already have stopped.


Hope these help and would-be traveler. Throw down a comment if you have any you’d like to share!

Planeswaka flocka flame

Filed under Uncategorized


I go hard in the motherfucking draft nigga,

taking rares nigga, what the fuck you thinking nigga

Imma take what I want cause im here to play

mythic rares and them foils yeah imma get paid

see Yawgmoth thats my motherfucking nigga

bury all yo creatures call me the gravedigga

I win every game with this old school killa

raising all my zombies like its Michael Jackson thrilla



Got my main deck, got my side board (what else)

came here to represent for the dark lord

keep my hand stacked, graveyard filled up

troops immortal, resurrecting nonstop

ay what I stand for? Domination

I wont stop till you’re begging for dark salvation

I’ll attack with some demons and my planeswalker

where you at?you all tapped? you aint planes walking

Keep this deck all black or go multicolor

Orzhov fucking with me, Dimir and Rakdos

Hustlas and gangtas, scheemin for control

Phyrexia, yawgmoth the fucking boss



i go hard in the motherfucking draft nigga

taking rares nigga, what the fuck you thinking nigga

imma take what i want cause im here to play

mythic rares and them foils imma get paid

see yawgmoth thats my motherfucking nigga

I win every game with his old school killas

keeping all these cards you can call me the deala’

im raising all my zombies like its michael jackson thrilla


what you tapping nigga, who’s attacking nigga

doesnt matter, wipe the board, my lead is getting bigger

hope you brought your sideboard with ya, hope you got some counters with ya

hope you got some kleenex with ya, you gon be crying after nigga

Doesnt matter if constructed or we drafting Cube

By then end, you’ll be yellin’ “fuck you”

Got killer 3 card combo and plenty of mana

Beat you so bad you’ll be begging fo yo mama

Got my whole decked wrapped in up in new custom sleeves

How I win every time is hard to believe

If you ready for a challenge then sit down and play

Got the skills to ensure that I win all day


I go hard in the motherfucking draft nigga,

taking rares nigga, what the fuck you thinking nigga

Imma take what I want cause im here to play

mythic rares and them foils yeah imma get paid

see Yawgmoth thats my motherfucking nigga

bury all yo creatures call me the gravedigga

I win every game with this old school killa

raising all my zombies like its michael jackson thrilla


Go live.

Filed under Uncategorized

This page is hereby deemed alive. Below are some posts that BoxyBrown (Jorge) and I (Donald) have been working up in the past while to fill this thing up.

On Homosexuality

Filed under Words of Wisdom from my mother

‘It’s not gay if there’s no tongue’

return of the rush

Filed under misheard remixes

zergling rush aint nothin to fuck wit

zergling rush aint nothin to fuck wit

zergling rush aint nothin to fuck wit

20 zerglings in yo base and theres nothing you can do

fighting back wit scv’s but you know this game is thru

wtf, howd he do it i dont even got a barracks

yo, im sure this nigga hacks


ill be rushin, n chrushin, zerglings be my weapon

got the spawnin pool goin, meanwhile im tokin

the rush, unexpected, that base aint protected

2 minutes in, aint no bunkers erected

these niggas be quittin, once again im winnin

this strat is too easy i feel like im cheatin

all pro is how im playin, these kids ill be slayin

on the top of the ladder is where i be stayin


i’m straight from the old school, started back in 98

grabbed the demo, pc gamer, staying up, and playin late

headed straight to eb games, bought it up with no delay

gonna save it for the weekend, but i couldnt stay away

now its back, 12 years later, the new generation

the gameplay is old school, back for more domination

and if you ever want ill give you a lil demonstration

i playin this shit more than the whole korean nation


so if you want a challenge imma bring the ruckus

zergling rush aint nothin to fuck wit

straight from the old school youre about to get busted

zergling rush aint nothin to fuck wit



step up, son


tell these noobs


the new patch comes out, tomorrow

startegies changin, victory, narrow

and if it dont succeed imma tell em to burrow

goin for an expansion? they are ready follow

economy chrushin my zerglings be rushing

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